A Night of Love

Wednesday night, I had the honor and privilege of traveling to University at Buffalo with Kerri and three other near perfect strangers (Brad, Corina, and Erica) to attend the To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) presentation being hosted there.

TWLOHA is an organization that simply put is in the business of raising awareness about substance addictions and suicide prevention, and reaching out to those people in our lives with a movement of love. An organization such as this is most definately akin to Kerri's heart as it is to mine; to reach the hurting people of this world and love on them like no other has before.

Now let's fill in some other details...

Kerri is a senior at Brockport majoring in Social Work. As required by her program, she must complete a macro project. To the best of my understanding, this is a project that is focused around your field of study and is made available to the college body as a whole. Going to hear from TWLOHA at UB was to serve two purposes. First, fulfill a desire to hear from an ambitious and courageous group of men and women making a lasting impact on people by voicing victory stories one person at a time. Secondly, Kerri wanted to do her darnedest to meet with TWLOHA and try to book them for Brockport as her macro project in mid-November.

So it was 6 o'clock in the evening and we were off. I really wasn't sure what to expect and to say the least I wasn't enthused about bringing others in tow. (These are the moments I wish my future self would come back and tell my present self not to have such stupid thoughts/reactions).

When we arrived, Kerri wasted no time in finding a UB rep and finding out if and when she could meet with Jamie (founder of TWLOHA) and talk to him about coming to Brockport with by all means short notice. She learned that she would have the opportunity to speak with him after the presentation. With that Kerri's anxious anticipation was in overload and we went off to find a seat.

Fast forwarding a bit we listened as Jamie told his extraordinary yet amazingly simple story of working for Hurley, dropping out of college, meeting Renee, making the courageous decision to be a friend and love on her in her most critical five days of need, writing her story and posting it to Myspace (thus giving purpose to her pain), and then eventually making an even more courageous decision to leave Hurley in pursuit of this love movement full time. We also heard a man named Denny speak about his victory over his addiction and how he has become a vital member of the team (most importantly to note, he's the guy in charge of booking). Kerri's focus shifted from Jamie, to Denny.

It was now post show and Kerri was waiting impatiently (but in a good way) in a short line with an unused portfolio of qualifications, to speak with Denny. A mass of people gathered around Jamie to speak with him and get autographs. Who wouldn't have expected this? Jamie is no greater than Denny, but Jamie is the icon, the face, the front-man of To Write Love On Her Arms. No matter. To Kerri, Denny was the one she was after. Denny was the one who held the answers to her questions.

As I was milling around, just barely in earshot, I heard Kerri start. I already knew her questions so I don't remember hearing her utter the words. What I did hear floating over the chatter of the crowd was "Yes, we can come" and "I''ll talk to Jamie, but stick around and we'll talk more after".

The crowd was dwindling down, but a few remained and the UB people need to lock up the building. That meant we needed to get out. But wait, Denny still hasn't gotten to Jamie and Kerri still hasn't talked to either one of them. No worries for Kerri; she understands event rules, so she starts helping in the clean up effort. I think the best way to get someone's attention is to help them out. Show that you're willing to make a step...that you're willing to give first (that's a little nugget for all you readers). As Kerri has jumped to, I laugh a little as I say to Brad, "That's just like Kerri to just jump right in and help. She'll even volunteer me sometimes." No sooner had the words left my mouth than I hear Kerri say something to the affect of "Ryan can carry some things for you". Normally I would throw a hissy fit, but I've learned that there is blessing is service (another future self type moment).

Now before me was a very large, awkwardly bulky, black hockey equipment duffel bag with about 70 lbs of t-shirts and other various pieces of merchandise packed inside. I sling the bag and our group of 5 plus Denny, Jamie, Eric the musician, and a UB rep are off to on what became an unnecessarily long walk to their rental car. It was alright though. Kerri got to further solidify the lines of communication with Denny and Jamie about coming to Brockport.

We dropped off the merchandise and parted ways. Now as I've had a couple of days to reflect on the whole night, one phrase keeps persisting, "How awesome!"

How awesome it was that Kerri learned she needed to do a macro project and God immediately puts on her heart bring To Write Love On Her Arms to Brockport.

How awesome it was that Kerri then learned TWLOHA would be at UB in just a few days.

How awesome it was that it fell on a Wednesday, which is a day I have chosen not to work and was readily available to go with her.

How awesome it was to get into a car with 3 people I didn't know and share an incredible night (especially Brad who literally was invited on Monday because he was wearing a To Write Love t-shirt and he accepted never having met Kerri before).

How awesome it was to have Brad join us in prayer before the show even though he hasn't done anything "religious", for lack of a better term, in years.

How awesome it was that while speaking with Denny, Kerri learned that he is directly in charge of booking and that he is in a two week period, between internship sessions, where he handles all booking e-mails rather than some temp, and that he was present on that night for that show.

How awesome it was to provide such a simple service of carrying their gear for them so it would be one less time they had to do it themselves.

How awesome it was to meet such solidly grounded men of God with a passion to pour out love.

It's my fully persuaded opinion that only a Heavenly Father, God, could orchestrate such a night so full of blessings and uncanny circumstances. No, I do not believe it was strange coincidence. It was designed. It was willfully purposed. It has a mission to fulfill, and we will be a part of it.

To learn more about starting honest conversations about addictive behaviors, suicide prevention, and the To Write Love On Her Arms organization and their Love Is The Movement campaign visit:

www.twloha.com


"I saw what generous people could do with their influence."
-- Jamie Tworkowski

Heart of a Warrior

"The die's been cast.

I've stepped out of the comfort zone.
The decision's been made.
I won't let up, look back, slow down, or back away.
My past is forgotten.
My present is focused.
My future's secure.
I'm finished with low-living, side-walking, cheap excuses, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, position, promotion, promises, or popularity.
I don't have to be first.
I don't have to be right.
I don't have to be recognized.
I don't have to be praised, regarded, or rewarded.
I've died to the self-centered, ego-driven, lip lifestyle.
I live by faith, learn by submitting, labor by love, lead by example, lift by prayer.
My dream is developed, my decision definite, my desire determined, my discipline dedicated, my devotion distinct.
My face is set.
My pace is fast.
My road is narrow.
My way is tough.
My companions are strong.
My counselor is reliable.
My purpose is pure and my mission is clear.
I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, diluted, delayed, or denied.
I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder in the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won't give up, shut up, let up until I've stayed up, stored up, prayed up, payed up, and stood up for the cause of freedom!
I must fight when other faint, go when others won't, give 'til I drop, teach until all know, and work until the task is finished.
And when I lie, exhausted on the playing field of dreamers, they won't have any problem recognizing me as one of their own."

To a friend

Dear Tom,

Your funeral is just a few short hours away, and I'm not sure I'm prepared to say goodbye. I'm so torn with conflicting waves of thoughts and emotions.

In one moment I'm so glad that you are free of your earthly body that was bound for the last few years with disease all while your mind was just as clear and as sharp as ever; a prisoner to self. You are now free to run again, and dance, and laugh and free to worship and proclaim the name of the Lord. You are free to see sights that can nary be imagined by the temporal mind. You have reached your new dwelling place with Jesus. In this I find much comfort, but...

In other moments I am overcome with grief as this world, in these still seconds, seems a bit more empty, a bit more quiet, a bit more surreal. All though it has long since passed that you and I shared any good conversation or since I have learned some of those foundational pieces of my Christian walk from your leadership, the memories of you are still crystal clear. I often think of those many Saturday mornings that you would take our portion of ACC's chair team out to breakfast at Town and Country. Or the laughs late into the night that we had during Niagara conferences. Or the strong and yet quite sense of manhood and camaraderie you provided in my adolescence...

Yet in other moments still I am moved to this quiet anger. A carnal anger that screams, "NO! Not you! Why you?!" You are just simply to young to no longer be with us here, to be with your family here. You were snatched from this life too early, and though I, in my reasonable mind, know that you are in a far better place, my selfish heart cannot find solace.

My heart rejoices, and yet it breaks, Tom. I want to say thank you. I want to say thank you for all the things you ever taught me. I want to thank you for all the time you ever spent with me. I want to thank you for all the love you ever shared. Even though I know I will see you again one day, I miss you now. I say goodbye to you only for a while. I love you, Tom.

-Ryan